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Press Release – Queen’s Park Premier Ford announces new climate change strategy after consultations with Environment Minister Catherine McKenna. Some background: Scientists have calculated that there are 1.5 billion cows on the planet and that they produce 119.1 million tons of methane annually. Science also determined since methane is a greenhouse gas which is 30 times more efficient at trapping the Sun’s radiative heat than carbon dioxide, that this exacerbates global warming. Researchers at Monsanto […]
New Mexico Chili Cook-off They actually have a Chili Cook-off in New Mexico about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza . Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Gering, Nebraska. Frank: “Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment […]
For Golfers While golfing, I took a quick turn to avoid hitting a chuck hole, and accidentally overturned my golf cart near a tree close to the cart path. I severely banged my head. A very attractive golfer who lived on the edge of the golf course, heard the noise and ran out of her villa and shouted, “Are you okay?” As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing […]
One buzz word in today’s business world is MARKETTING However, people often ask for a simple explanation of “Marketting.” Well, here it is: * You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketting. ______________________________ * You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him […]
The Toothbrush Salesman The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship. Little Sally led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30” she said proudly. “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.” “Very good”, said the teacher. Little […]
Sex In The Shower Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter… In a recent survey carried out for the leading toiletries firm ‘Brut’, people from Chicago have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower! In the survey, 86% of Chicago’s inner city residents (almost all of whom are registered Democrats) say that they have enjoyed sex in […]
TABIA Press Release TABIA in Bold New Plan: Survive till 2018 April 1, 2017 Toronto – In what is being described as the most ambitious mission ever undertaken in TABIA’s history, officials from the Office of Economic Development (OED) announced at a Saturday press conference their bold new plan to still exist by 2018. The OED’s top director, Mickey Mayer (affectionately nicknamed “Honk” by his office colleagues) presented […]