Sex In The Shower

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter…

In a recent survey carried out for the leading toiletries firm 'Brut', people from Chicago have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!  In the survey, 86% of Chicago's inner city residents (almost all of whom are registered Democrats) say that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.

The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet.


Top 10 Country Western Songs:

10  I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.

9   I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few.

8   If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

7   I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'.

6   Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win.

5   I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here.

4   My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.

3   She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

2   She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.

And the Number One Country & Western song is:

1   It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day.


4 Year-Old's First Paycheck - A Truly Heartwarming Story

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 4-year-old girl & some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.  One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 4-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, & gave her 20 little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars.

The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her 10 dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own income at such a young age? The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assho**’s at Home Depot ever deliver the f#*+**n' drywall!”

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